She uttered, “Why do people have to die?” (Part-II)

She was also feeling guilty. The guilt that there were many times she should have bowed down before her and said ‘sorry’ for the blunders she had committed but could not do so. She even wanted to thank her grandmother for all those times when the super granny saved her from getting scolded severely by her mom and dad. Her granny was truly her savior. In other words, the little chirpy bird was helplessly helpless. She was missing that warmth and comfort which she used to experience earlier. Her grandmother’s enigmatic presence was enough to set things right for her. She could feel her grandmother saying that ‘to regret is the worst feeling ever’. Her grandmother’s words echoed in her ears that sorry and thank-you are not mere words but small tokens which should be used often as they help us to live a ‘regret-free’ life.

She knew that she wasn't going to get the perfect lady back but she never wanted to believe this. She could not understand the indifferent attitude of the relatives when they addressed the lady lying on the floor as ‘body’. She felt as if somebody was attacking her self-respect by insulting her grandmother with the usage of the term ‘body’ for her. She wanted to revolt. She wanted to fight back and tell the world that her grandmother was not just a ‘body’ but someone’s best buddy. Amidst all this chaos there was just one thing which brought smile on the face of granny’s little girl and that was the fact that she could observe the peacefulness which spread on her grandmother’s face. It seemed to her as if the sea is quiet again after a massive cyclone. She realized that it was the eternal peace that her grandmother wanted the most. She wanted an answer to many questions as in, “Is my grandmother happy after leaving me?” or “Is she out there in some other world which is better than this selfish world?”

No matter how much tried to figure out the answers, she was always left unconvinced. Each time she tried to defend her own reasoning but to no avail. She could just reach to a conclusion that her grandmother was going to be only in her memories ever after. She was sure that she was going to miss that short, bent and a little plump lady always and no one can ever take her place, no one can ever fill that cavity, that void. She smiled and cried, “Dadi, I love you and will keep doing so.”  Those tear drops soon dried and she herself did not know at what time she slept but yes now it is dawn….