An Unnamed Relationship (Part-III)

Why loving you seems like a sin?

He was hers but was he only hers? This had always been an unanswered question. She never wanted to share him with anybody. Those short meetings in the computer lab were more than anything Tanya would ever want. Those eye-contacts and unintentional touching of hands are still alive in her memories. They used to look at each other intently and like always Sahil used to take one step closer to her and that was it; she used to break the eye-contact immediately; blushing like never before; started seeing elsewhere and fumbling in almost every word she used to say to change the topic. Sahil used to say, “I love to do this and with you it doesn’t take much time even.” Tanya was too good when it came to blushing and she did it often spreading along her face a ‘longitudinal wave’. Yes, this was the name given by Sahil to the ripples formed on Tanya’s chubby cheeks. He simply loved it.

Tanya still remembers the day when both of them accompanied by some common friends were busy operating a single computer. Everybody was busy doing some fun when suddenly Sahil rested his chin on Tanya’s shoulder. She could feel him closer to her. She wanted Sahil never to lift his chin up and rest in the same position always. This incident made her feel that he was all hers but Sahil always said that they were heading towards a wrong path. He tried many ways to stay away from Tanya so he started with the basics. ‘A close friendship’ with one of her classmate. Like any other typical girl Tanya was also jealous but she knew that Sahil considered him only a friend so she found it better to just ignore (Trust me, it was so damn hard!).

One day Sahil came apologizing, “I’m sorry for choosing her over you."

“That’s okay, because I’m not an option”, said Tanya. 

“You cannot tolerate me. Me and my mood swings-you’ll suffer. So please, stay away because I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“I am in love with you Sahil and now this is only what I know.”

He always wanted to leave because he was afraid that if he comes close to Tanya, he would lose her as well and this was something he never wanted to do. Nobody knows that it was love or not but yes, it was beautiful. He wanted to leave for Tanya’s good and that’s what made her love him more. Tanya always wanted to explain him that if the road ahead was not that easy, their love would lead the way for them. Agitated with such an unnamed relationship one day she decide to ask him out. A clear cut ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. She wanted a ‘yes’ but somewhere deep down her heart she thought, “What if he says ‘no’?”

She called him up and very bluntly blurted, “Do you love me,Sahil?"

“See, Tanya…” replied Sahil getting interrupted in between.

“I asked, do you love me or not?” This time she was harsh.

“Let me please explain Tanya”, pleaded he.

“Why not make it simple? Just one word-A ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?” asked Tanya stressing on both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. He kept quiet. There was utter silence on the phone. It was difficult for both. If hearing a word can tear someone apart then speaking it is also very painful.

“Do you love me?” asked Tanya again literally begging for an answer. 

“No, I don’t” came the reply.


To Be Continued...