WAKE UP! IT'S NIGHT...

What was about that night?

There’s a thing about starry skies and thoughtful nights. There are certain nights that demand your complete attention; that demand the time you need to spend with yourself. With an existence of twenty years till now, she encountered many different nights; some were beautiful because they held the happy moments she had spent; few were dreadful nights because they gave her the flashback of the things that turned out in the way they were never supposed to be.

What about those nights which were filled with guilt whether the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ made sense?

What about those nights which were full of anxiety because that twenty year old girl didn’t know what to do next in life?

What about those nights when she met herself?

What about those nights when she thought that no matter how much she may flaunt during the day about how she loves her flaws and imperfections but actually those nights made her insecure at times?

What about those nights when there was a sudden death of smile and all she wanted to do was cry out loud but that feeling lacked tears?

What about those nights when her tears touched the cotton fabric of the pillow cover for no reason?

What about those nights when she was sleepless, thoughtless and into nothingness?

What about those nights when she couldn’t sleep of excitement because it was going to be a big day tomorrow?

What about those nights when she was worried about all the possible ‘what-ifs’?

What about those nights when she tried to deviate her thoughts by watching Netflix and eating chocolates?

What about those nights when she talked the whole night about life at stretch with her friends?

What about those nights when she felt helpless and calling a friend also didn’t help because she couldn’t explain what was wrong?

What about those nights when she doesn’t want to speak but listen?

What about those nights when she doesn’t want to listen but speak?

What about those nights when she found comfort only in her own company and her playlist on repeat?

What about those nights when she longed for some companionship?

What about those nights when it was too scary to step out of the bed to switch off the fan?

What about those nights when she was sitting motionless in a chair on the terrace looking at the stars?

What about those nights when she completed a whole season of a particular TV series in a go?

After all there’s a thing about starry skies and thoughtful nights. These nights may bring out the sadness in you but they compel you to introspect and that’s what makes it beautiful. The over thinking you do on sleepless nights which you usually consider wrong in the long run is just making you come close to yourself. These nights are that time of the twenty-four hours when you wake up your demons to finally calm them down.

WHAT ACTUALLY WAS ABOUT THOSE NIGHTS THAT SHE USED TO WAKE UP JUST BECAUSE IT WAS NIGHT?

“INSIDE YOU”

She looked at him intently all the while when he was sharing his deepest insecurities with her. He went on and on about how much he wanted to be all by himself without any baggage of expectations on his head. He was tired; tired of knowing everything but not knowing himself. He was done with taking those calculated moves at every stage of his life. I guess he wanted to be carefree this time but he was too careful to be careless. He was scared to lose and so scared to even try to keep what is his. He wanted to break free a little just like the old times but he just couldn’t. He was chained; chained with people, their thoughts, their ideologies, their expectations, their hope. The man who loved freedom was so bounded that all the ideas in his mind to live life in his way automatically chalked themselves out. He didn’t want anyone and anything but himself.

His powerful exterior was feeling vulnerable and his soul seemed to be naked in front of her. Things got that bad that it wasn’t even easy to fake it this time. After all, one of the most ambitious men of her life was suddenly aimless, under confident and lost somewhere in his own world where every now and then he gets a reality check. Maybe that’s why he was fond of ‘escapism’. His hobbies included escaping to a dream world where he is the superhero setting things right for everyone. Well, who would ever want to come out from that dream and be realistic?

She never really understood him. Since, the day she met him, she is unfolding a new person every day. She doesn’t really know white charmed him more or black because BOOM! He always had a thing for grey. He was unexpected; a big time mystery. That mystery which she tries to solve but fails miserably every time. She tries new methods but every single time; she finds herself with some new person. Learning from his always accurate kind of deductions, she also deduced one thing and it’s for sure that his knight in shining armor likes to keep his mask on even to his closed ones because he is afraid to open up. He is scared of sharing emotions; dwelling deep because he thinks that it gives other person the power to see through him when he is unguarded and this can reveal his strengths and weaknesses.

When did he become like this? He admits that he was not the same person earlier. The circumstances have changed him drastically. Sitting there and looking at him intently only made her want to bring back the old free version of his new chained man. She desperately wanted him to relive the beauty of his past. She wanted to bring back those who left him because only with them he was the happiest. She knows that he will always counter that his present is better than any phase of his past but his eyes always scream that a part of him is left back there. His smile and blush shout that he wants to stay there fixing everything he did wrong. What made her happy was the fact that if he couldn’t go back; he had included that beautiful portion of his past in his present life. That’s alive. That’s what completes him. Sitting there and looking at him intently, she whispered, “It’s INSIDE YOU”.

SATURATION POINT

He said, “There are moments in all of our lives when we are compelled to ask ourselves, how far are we willing to go for what we want? How far are we willing to risk, to sacrifice, to endure because it’s one thing to yearn for something and quite another to find the strength to achieve it?” She understood, “It was his SATURATION POINT.”

When do you realize that you have had enough? When do you feel that you have no courage left in you to keep pushing forward or is it really that important to carry this on. They all say, “Try until the time you feel satisfied with your efforts and after that just let it be.” My question is that were they not risking, sacrificing and enduring? Did the yearning for something drain the strength which was required to achieve it? That moment when nothing more affects us and we become numb to almost everything is what we call our saturation point. The question is why does such a condition arise when we become emotionless and so numb that even the pain is painless? Drop by drop the level of his pain was increasing. He was trying hard to control his feelings and keep it to himself but until when. For sure, he has to face the stagnancy and reach the stage where he had to ask himself that does he have the strength to move forward. Nobody knows the answer. Maybe, not even him.

Is it really okay to face this? Moreover, what to do after reaching a point where nothing would help even if you pour something more to it? She wanted to help but couldn’t. She wanted to be by his side but preferred staying away thinking that might help. Self-healing was the process she thought about. Was it working? Was giving him space actually started creating differences? She was left in the mid of nowhere and he as well. They both hung upon something which could be sorted only if the level of saturation comes down.

Move On..!!

Let it go :)

Why not the focus is on the betterment of the soul? Why don’t we think that life is not about crying over the same thing again and again but smiling back to it? Those places; instances and people are definitely the reason for your sadness but how long will you keep holding grudges for things you can easily let go. There are many quotations about life; Google can help you out with that. You can even consult a motivational speaker or your well-wishers who can provide you with all the inspiring incidents and tell you that how you can do well in life but nothing works out if you are not willing this to happen. We all have been in that phase where depression hovers you and you feel like there is nothing left inside you to live for and blah blah blah…!! But how many of us actually take efforts to make life worth living.

Remember, your life is a story for others; make sure it’s inspiring. If you look logically at the facts, the sole reason for being unhappy is that we waste too much of our time in thinking about all those incidents which had a bad impact on our lives. We keep asking questions, “Where did I go wrong?”; “Why always me?”; “Am I so bad?” Just be done with it. People who have been close to you once are now your nobody. So why to lose your worth; your self-respect by begging them to come back or crying over the fact that the so-called ‘unbreakable bond’ has shattered? Have your share of tears and then just LET IT GO. It will be difficult but definitely not impossible. You are a human and your emotions are visible and they do matter a lot. Never resist in pouring out your feelings but once when you are done; don’t stick to it. C’mon, not always the same topic. Your life is much more than that and it gets better with each passing day if you learn to smile ☺

Life is easy from one angle and difficult from the other. It’s all about from where you are looking at it.

There are places you don't want to visit; instances you never want to recall and people you don't want to talk about but then there is no use avoiding all this because ‘COURAGE LIES IN OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS’.

Do visit that place atleast once and it will help you move on; think about that not so good incident and remove it from your roots once and for all and if possible meet that person because it will teach you that facing the situation is for betterment.

Now my friend, you are ready for all the challenges in life.

It’s beautiful (Part V)

Even after the delightful meeting; none of them was able to take off the other from their hearts and minds. Both of them left non-erasable impressions; marks which none of them wanted to get erased. While going back home, Medhavi was all lost in her thoughts. “There are still good people left.” Did she trust too early? Can she rely upon him blindly? Before leaving Delhi she sent a voice note to Pratham which according to him was way too cute and in his words “literally took away his heart”. He listened to it many a times. This was revealed later though. Medhavi just couldn’t stop thinking about him. She was re-reading her chats and kept smiling. When she reached home, don’t know why but Medhavi called up Pratham just to inform that she is back home safe and sound and maybe this gesture cleared all the doubts of Pratham and he felt that Medhavi also has feelings for him.

Now the separation of 20 days was waiting for them which was indeed too big. Medhavi was craving for him and maybe he was craving for her too. They liked talking to each other and so, there phone calls extended. Luckily, might be due to network and data error Pratham’s phone’s main balance remained the same as before Rs. 49.81 and since then Medhavi started calling her “Mr. 49.81”. For those 20 days, they both teased each other with their friends’ names and kept talking for hours. Sometimes they gave way to philosophical thoughts: - “Love is eternal” and “Life is beautiful”. Since, both of them were single at that point of time, they used to ask each other, what kind of partner they want to which Medhavi generally replied, “Height around 6ft (+2’’ ; -2’’ acceptable) and the guy should really be respectful towards girls because as for long term I would like to introduce him to mom dad”. She used to beg Pratham for searching someone like that who would like Medhavi’s special “feminism rule” which stated an order “I can do anything I want because I am a girl”. She used to do this basically to tease Pratham.

Once Medhavi asked, “What type of girl do you want to fall in love with all over again?”

 “Just like you.” Complete silence.

“Like me, really, although I am a single piece but still a girl like me cannot be a good girlfriend. Still why precisely someone like me?”, countered Medhavi. No one else other than Medhavi would have been happier after hearing this. Her heart beat fastened and she was almost jumping out of happiness.

“You are beautiful, ‘Topper’, worth taking home, our fathers have the same profession (implying good family terms further) and we both have the same caste(in case you think of a long term future) So why not someone like you?” This made her speechless.

A bit of flirting and a bit of logical stuff, this made their bond grow stronger with each passing day. Pratham was the first person Medhavi wished on New Year. He used to say dialogues and she used to fall for them instantaneously. After the entire trauma in her life; Medhavi was slowly understanding the importance of being happy and letting go of things that hurt her. She got someone she loved to talk to. These two were keen to see each other and were just waiting for the holidays to get over. True that, OPPOSITES ATTRACT!

It’s beautiful (Part IV)

December 14, 2014 had been the most beautiful day of their lives. The day when they first met properly without any rush as back in college they were sort of strangers to each other. Recalling their history, Pratham saw Medhavi for the very first time in their class wearing a red-color kurta among all those minis and shorts and that’s what made him feel that a story is waiting out there. “She is different; different from rest of them.” He observed her but Medhavi never in her dreams thought that someone would notice her like this in the college (She created a good impression. KUDOS! ) Talking about Medhavi’s perspective; she basically didn’t know about any such guy named Pratham and to be precise she was least interested to know also. She was the class representative; so once the teacher asked her to take down the numbers of all the students; make a Whatsapp group so that she can convey all the information and act as a link between her (teacher) and the students.
Pratham also gave his number. Medhavi saved his number just the way she saved the number of her other classmates not knowing who he is. It had been months; nobody texted on the personal window. The chats were restricted to the group only. Medhavi was lost in her own friend circle while Pratham was figuring out ways his life was taking turns. They had same course, same classes but knew nothing about each other and then one day out of the blue a text popped upon Medhavi’s screen. It was Pratham asking for a little help in Economics. Medhavi told him that she doesn’t know anything about Economics but could surely help in English. This sounded a bit rude to him but he let it go. Although Pratham messaged again after 3 days enquiring about the date sheet and exams and since then they started texting on a regular basis. It wasn’t less than an addiction. He used to call her ‘TOPPER’ because he thought she knew almost everything and was just lying about the completion of the syllabus.
They had ‘All the best’, ‘Hey’, ‘Bye’ kind of conversations and frequent eye contacts where they accidently passed smiles. ☺ Medhavi liked talking to him because those days were rough on her giving her mental stress and he acted almost like a shield. He didn’t know what she was going through; nothing about her broken friendships and untrustworthy relationships. Maybe this was his nature but Pratham knew exactly how to cheer her up even without knowing the reason that’s why she used to call him the ‘ENTERTAINTMENT PACKAGE’. Well every girl deserves to be with someone who knows how to make his girl laugh. She felt too comfortable talking to him day and night. There was neither awkwardness nor second thoughts. They were enjoying this and before she could realize, she started having a soft spot for Pratham. Falling for someone this way was too early but surely they wanted to be more in contact. Day and night of texting; sharing of secrets and the want of talking to each other more and more made their first meeting in CP less awkward. Even Medhavi  never thought that she would be asking someone like this :-
“Are you free on 14th?”
“Ummm Yeah..!”
“Then let’s catch up.”


…to be continued

It’s beautiful (Part III)

She felt really secured..!!

The lyrics, the aura and the way eyes did the talking made it too difficult for Medhavi to resist Pratham. She constantly had to remind herself that she came here to listen about his past relationships and not to make a new story altogether. The song got over and they moved out. Never had she experienced such a coffee. Well, now it was time for her to listen. So, they sat on the pavement and Pratham started narrating the most beautiful time of his life. The intense love in his eyes, the softness in his voice and the want of having that amazing time back if possible made Medhavi respect Pratham even more. The way he emphasized on some of the incidents and the manner in which his eyes and lips were communicating made Medhavi feel that ‘love never dies’. You can move on in life but a part of it remains there only which should be better untouched.

Medhavi questioned herself that was it okay to go into his deep rooted history because his eyes were screaming about his lonliness. They were telling her that he needed a companion. She cannot forget how he was blushing making his cheeks tomato red while telling those small cute incidents. Medhavi was numb. She was just observing him the whole time and that made her realize how emotionally stable Pratham was. How love has made him stronger with each passing moment. It was getting intense so they decided to walk. It started drizzling. While she was in utter shock after hearing the sad endings; he was busy protecting her from the rain. She liked the way he was taking care of her. He showed Medhavi the picture of the love of his life and she just couldn’t believe how strong he is.

Just to change the mood they thought to eat the ice-cream. While he was taking the ice-cream, out of nowhere Medhavi gave a tight hug to Pratham. It was unexpected and of course awkward. She wanted him to hug her back but he didn’t. Well Pratham explained this later that as soon as he was going to hug her back, she moved away. I guess none of them wanted to go back home but it was time. Medhavi was pleading him not to drop her home as she can go all by herself but since he was a true gentleman, he became very rigid. So it was decided that he will drop her only to the nearest metro station and not to her home. For time being they sat on the stairs of the metro station and Medhavi started telling her share of stories. She was continuously speaking when he randomly interrupted, looked straight into her eyes and said, “You look cute.” She blushed and smiled. Till date, he doesn’t know how it slipped from his mouth and made the situation a bit unexpected. While in the metro he was again back to his usual self protecting her from people of all sorts. She felt safe and happy. CCD, the song, the unexpected hug, the rain and “You look cute” became their memories to cherish forever. They reached home. She changed her Whatsapp status to “Those gestures :*” while he switched it to “Thank you ☺”


...to be continued

It’s beautiful (Part II)

Cafe Coffee Day

Well, in the morning she got up early and finally after a lot of thought-process decided to put on a light blue jeans, black pullover accompanied with a half sleeves green color jacket. She put on her usual kajal and lip-gloss for the sake of make-up keeping in mind that it shouldn’t look over the top. Mind you, never, I say never it should appear as if she had taken efforts to look good. She brushed her hair, let them loose, wore her favorite black heels and took her clutch. She called up Pratham to tell him that she is leaving for Rajiv Chowk metro station. When she called, he just woke up and realized that okay, this is real. They were actually going to meet. Medhavi wasn’t kidding. He rushed to get ready. By the time he got ready, she reached the destination and kept on waiting for complete 46 minutes. She had faith that he will be coming. She was a bit furious, a bit nervous and a bit excited all because of Pratham. For the first time, she was actually very eager. Reason is yet unknown. She had no idea how Pratham was feeling. Was he feeling the same? Was he excited to have some intense conversation with her?

All this time Pratham was actually expecting Medhavi to be really angry at him. He thought that she might go back as well but no, she had some faith left. She was hoping him to come. Then he came standing beside CCD at the metro station searching for her everywhere. She saw him from far and saw him looking for her here and there ready to hear the scolding for being so late. He kept calling her and she didn’t pick up because she was standing right there smiling at him. She wasn’t angry for waiting for someone whom she barely knew but was happy to see the one finally whom she wanted to know completely. He saw her, smiled and came forward. He was sorry and made the lamest of excuse that the metro was stuck in between else he was on time and she believed it too. Well this is what people say about the phase when even the wrong seems right.

Leaving everything aside, they took exit from the metro station and probably didn’t know where to go. I guess, the first thing they saw in CP was Café Coffee Day: A lot can happen over a coffee. Well said! They decided to go there. Pratham was either a gentleman or he basically had PhD in impressing a girl. The way he opened the door for her, pulled a chair so that she can sit and asked her to order something of her choice made her feel really special. He used to say, this is what every guy does and she always said, “Nobody ever did this for me.” Though for a moment she was very furious because he didn’t split the bill and paid it all himself. He refused to take money from her. She had that abiding principle that nobody will ever pay for her unless it’s family or her husband. Pratham was very adamant. Before they could just leave CCD suddenly between the sipping of coffee and light conversations came up a song ‘MEHERBANI’. They looked at each other and sat down instantly to listen to it first and then leave.


...to be continued

It’s beautiful (Part I)

It started beautifully..!!

She herself didn’t know why she was so excited to meet him. It had only been two weeks of texting(day and night) but maybe there was some connection so strong that she couldn’t help but asking him to meet her in CP, Delhi before they go back home for their semester break. That storm of confusion hovered over her mind leaving her with questions like, “Why did I ask him out?”  ; “Is it a date?”; “Like really, how can you being a girl ask a guy to meet up when you barely know him?” but then she was herself countering her questions like “Oh C’mon, it’s not a date or maybe it is.” ; “I think this friendship will last so what’s the harm in meeting?” ; “Don’t exaggerate; you are just going there to listen to his stories.” Yes, the stories of his past which he promised to share. Nobody knows that how in such a short span of time Pratham just spoke his heart out and agreed to share the most delicate and touching stories with Medhavi. She was curious too because from the past two weeks the way they were talking; she assumed him to be a very humorous; witty and jolly kind of a guy who was away from the chaos of life but no, he had seen life from a very different perspective.

His relationships could not end on a happy note which pinched him so hard. He was emotional too; very sensitive and knew what love is perfectly. Somewhere, deep inside his heart he blamed himself for not being able to be with the ones he wanted to. Medhavi would never have got to know this side of Pratham if she wouldn’t have asked him to meet. They had different definitions of love. Once, Medhavi asked, “What is love?” Pratham wasn’t expecting such a question maybe so he answered that it will take time to explain what actually love is. He asked the same and she replied, “Selfless devotion. Love is selfless devotion.” Medhavi still thinks he was astonished by her answer. Later he said, “Love; no matter how much you do; it is always less.” This astounded her completely.

They still recall an incident when Pratham asked, “Is it okay to give love a second chance?” She replied, “Yes it is because someone is out there waiting to mend your broken pieces.” He again asked and this time it was it was intense, “A third chance?” She was numb for two seconds and then replied, “Remember, your definition for love; no matter how much you do; it is always love. So go for it. Love always deserves another chance.” These two; they had intense conversations before meeting maybe that’s why it didn’t appear that they were meeting for the first time. The night before meeting, Medhavi was lost in her own world thinking what she would wear, what they would talk, will there be awkward silences, what he is as a human being and most importantly was it really okay asking out a guy like this when it’s not even a date or maybe it is. Oh God! CONFUSION..!!


..to be continued

You cannot be everyone’s favorite!

Let it go...!!

Being practical and realistic, one thing which life teaches us is that we cannot make everyone happy; we cannot be everyone’s helpline; ultimately we cannot be everyone’s favorite. No matter how hard you may try but there is always a bunch of people who is unsatisfied with you. There will always be a few whose line of expectation you didn’t fulfill. Statistics claim that at the age of 16-22 you come across many temporary people and believe it or not these people hold the capability to influence our lives in their own ways; sometimes positively and sometimes in an extremely negative way.

You might encounter the pain of losing a best friend; the one you thought would always be by your side. This will teach you that you can also be the reason for someone’s unhappiness; just to remind ‘someone very close’. Such is the case, where you even play with your self-respect at times just to save that friendship but to no use. One day, you will have to accept the bitter truth that the person is hurt and it’s better to simply let go. Trust me folks, life is really unpredictable. They say the real test of friendship is when the person is there with you in the happy times but not in your bad times but on a genuine note, for those who can relate, it hurts even more when the person who was there to support you in your hardships is missing when you are really excited to share a good news. It hurts badly. Such an incident comes with a lesson that favoritism for you can vanish any moment. You get to learn that you cannot be an all-time favorite for even your loved ones.

Sadly this is not just limited to the so-called ‘friendship’ stuff. You can easily find ‘I-am-really-disappointed-with-you’ type people everywhere; in every kind of relationship you share. The root cause is ‘EXPECTATION’. Two persons start sharing a bond and then expect things from each other giving way to a bitter truth: - ‘Expectations are not always fulfilled’. Nobody is satisfied. People get hurt; knowingly or unknowingly and a void is created which cannot be filled. You spend months and years finding answers to questions like, “What was my mistake?”, “Did I do something terribly wrong?” At times the reason for which you are being punished is unjustified and at times the reason is not even known.

When precisely talking about love stories, a person can be hurt by getting NO as an answer but very few can relate that even saying that big fat NO is equally painful. Sometimes years of friendship is overlooked when just a minor incident takes place. This rips the heart into pieces. “You hurt people and you get hurt.” This is the law of nature. You get hurt when at times you are the cause of embarrassment for your ‘special person’. You get hurt when you don’t live up to the expectations of your parents or rather well-wishers and if there is nothing to get worried about, the wounds from your past will not leave your side. Eventually, all this will leave you shattered but then there is hope in the things unseen.

Life comes with many lessons, one of them being, “Don’t bother too much to be perfect because the right people will love the imperfect you.” Remember, you can be the ‘ray of hope’ for many but surely not for everyone. This reminds me of the famous quote, “You cannot have butter on both the sides of the bread.” To celebrate victory on one end; the other end has to face dejections. If you are setting things right on one side; the other side might get unhappy. Balance is too difficult to maintain. So, the best thing one can do is to stop stressing over everything. Get that “Shut up and let it happen” mode ON..!! Don’t interrupt the flow of life. Circumstances will change, things will be better because tomorrow there will be a new morning, a new day, a new beginning. Till then, smile J It helps.

It’s been so long…

‘The unarticulate canvas’ which I started in summers of 2k14 was a blessing to me as my emotions found a way and spilled like ink on the paper. The words got a new meaning and I found that satisfaction of being and called a writer. My last post was posted in August’14. Since then, I have not written anything substantial and worth reading and for this I owe an apology to all my viewers for making them wait so long. Writing has always been like a passion to me but the past one year in some or the other way hindered that passion in me. Well, they say, ‘Better late than never’. So here I am to resume what is so very important www.theunarticulatecanvas.blogspot.in

Many of my well wishers and viewers keep on asking me whether the stories and the articles I post on my blog are real or not and if real then up to what extent. So I would like to tell that I strongly believe that ‘Fiction and Non-fiction go hand in hand’. Few of my articles comprise of a word-to-word true story; real life incidents while some are a work of fiction. So keep enjoying the mixture. Apologies again and I hope that you all will appreciate the efforts. Till then, keep smiling and shining… :) Life is too short to be sad… :)

Dilemma

I beg, Stop Doubting me..

“When I don’t have any issues; my parents don’t have any issues then why is everyone else busy influencing my decisions?” came up a shrilled tone of her inner voice. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry out loud. She wanted to tell the world to just stop interfering. She wanted to write in bold letters, “BE EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO BUT DON’T DARE BE JUDGEMENTAL WHEN IT COMES TO MY CAPABILITIES”. She was getting pissed off between many questions. She wanted an answer that why there is a need to prove herself every time and specially to people who have no other work apart from speaking demoralizing stuff and accusing for no reason. She was really irritated and her inner self was begging everyone to believe her. Why are relatives who are the limit of being orthodox so over-concerned about the kids who are actually confident being stuck to their decisions?

She agrees that she is answerable for her decisions but she also agrees that she is answerable only to her God, her parents and her own conscience. No one else. Simply no one. She cares not what people think until her conscience doesn’t give her a warning call. After all she believes she is in the world not just to impress people but to express her own self. Was she wrong? Was she being rude?  Well, I don’t think so. She wanted to study in a respectable college after her 10+2. That’s it and she was being supported by her parents at each and every step but the problem were only those relatives who had issues with her different choice of course. Why going out of the league is so unacceptable even today in this 21^st century? Is it really so important to do b.tech and become an engineer just because some relatives want this to happen and even at that stage when you have least interest in technical set ups. She wanted a simple life- a life without extra unwanted burdens.

She hated that straight forward judgment of her relatives about her to her parents.

“Don’t send her far because she is incapable.”

“She cannot manage on her own.”

“I know she is choosing different courses because she doesn’t want to study.”

“I am very much sure that she must be engaged… maybe with some guy.”

“I mean if she has to do a simple course then why to send her far away in some prestigious institute.”

“She is a girl. Don’t let her go anywhere. Keep her near to you.”

Her parents always defended her. They were her back up support but she couldn’t understand that why were there so many heads popping up when she was going to try something altogether new. Why were people speaking so much when they actually have no idea about her future plans and above all why was it necessary to provide an explanation to everybody. Why some souls cannot be ignored? She knew what she has to do in life and she was also aware about the way of execution then why the hell was there so much chaos and confusion? Why can’t it be something like, “I am confident. Full stop.” There were many questions hovering her mind as in was it really necessary to follow the same rat race? Why following her own dreams was not an easy choice? Yes, there were difficulties but one thing she was sure of and that was the fact that she has to be the best; no matter what. A better human being; a high rank officer and most importantly the daughter who deserves to be the pride of her parents.

No doubt, its difficult to trust somebody again. Its hard to give someone a chance but isn’t it not worth giving even a try. Yes she broke the trust some time ago but she is now trying really hard to build it up again. Can’t that be a compensation? Being helplessly helpless is one thing which takes time to overcome. She is trying her best and leaving the rest to ALMIGHTY.

A scientist/technologist has a greater contribution to society than teachers/professors.

The Best.. Always..!!

Whether we like it or not, no matter what facts and figures we may quote but the truth remains the same that a teacher/professor has made a greater contribution to the society than a scientist/technologist. So I am strictly against the motion.

Now, to prove my point, I would first like to talk about the basic level. When a child gets admitted in a school he is sent there not with the aim of him becoming a scientist or a doctor but with a hope that he will become a good human being or perhaps a ‘man of virtues’--- someone with ethics and moral values and I guess I am not wrong if I say that these moral values and ethics are inculcated in a child by a teacher itself. In fact the most important point is that “Scientists don’t make teachers but teachers do make scientists.”

Well moving on let me mention an instance of REEL life first. I guess you all must have probably seen the movie ‘Taare Zameen Par’. A film which beautifully portrayed a ‘student-teacher relationship’. It is worth mentioning that in the movie the important part was not that the child excelled in his field but that the child excelled because  his teacher saw in him that talent, that ability. That teacher was the one who found out what actually the child wanted to do. In fact I would like to ask you teachers a question that  don’t you feel like you make a really good nation as you are dealing with  the future of the nation, the building blocks of the society, the ‘YOUTH’.

In our REAL life also, India has had educationists like ‘Swami Vivekananda, C. Rajagopalachari, Dr. Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan’ who influenced the whole society by simply teaching the masses. They were the ones who always remembered the famous saying, “To reject didactic teaching is to reject teaching itself.” Now if I talk about society, I would like to mention a famous quote, “If a free society can’t help the many who are poor, it can never help the few who are rich.” My friends, ‘TEACHERS’ are the ones who reduce this difference of rich and poor. They are the ones who in every possible way teach that morality has its own way and of course they teach it better than any scientist. My worthy opponents, I won’t forget to mention about that highly dreadful disease ‘AIDS’. Your scientists have still not found a permanent solution for this big problem but our teachers; they are busy educating the masses about the ‘preventive measures’ of this disease.

At the end, I would like to wrap up my words by again emphasizing on the fact that “What a teacher does with his book is far better than what a scientist does with his tools.” It is something no one can ever compare.

Adversity causes some people to break; and others to break records.

Adversity is just a test..!!

Adversity according to oxford dictionary is a difficult or an unpleasant situation and as the title suggests it breaks down some people entirely while for some others, it sets new standards of success. APJ Abdul Kalam stands as its best example. Since childhood, he was always surrounded with adversity of different kinds; whether it be lack of  financial  resources or the mental support, he always fought his way and broke records by being an excellent scientist, a prolific writer, an eminent philosopher and definitely the ‘First man of the nation’.

Rudyard Kipling in his poem ‘If’ states,

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same

--- you’ll be a man, my son!”

M.K.Gandhi, Pt.Jawahar Lal Nehru, Dr. Rajendra Prasad are those names who abided by the above lines. They were not the ones who wasted their time lamenting over their failures nor did they get too enthusiased on their success. They were the jewels who remained the same throughout. Adversity spares no body and it may sound weird but it is so true, that it is very important to have adverse conditions in life, else one could never understand the true worth of happiness. Adversity teaches us how to fight the hard times with a smile and shine like a star-- like a real hero.

There was a story about two brothers born in the same situation but with an entirely different outlook towards life. Let me start by introducing their drunkard father who used to spend all his income on vices like drinks, drugs etc. Not to forget, he used to beat his innocent wife for literally ‘no reason at all’. Moreover, his attitude towards his children was horrifying: -- something which sent a shiver down the spine. His two sons suffered a lot in that adversity in the same manner but their attitude towards the adverse conditions made a big difference. The elder son chose to be an officer of high rank by educating himself properly and trying his best not to be like his father because he was well aware what actually “being like his father” meant to his family. He had the concept that those adverse conditions had taught him never to do things his father was habituated to while the younger one became a spoilt brat with the concept that his childhood upbringing was to blame. He learnt all this from his own father, from those adverse conditions. Such was the difference between the two souls sharing common fathers and definitely common adversities. The same situation molded the two children in two completely different ways.

Emphasizing on the real life now, I would like to share an experience which provoked me to write the article on a subject like ‘Adversity’. I got to know about one of my seniors who faced an immense adverse condition but conquered it with surprisingly great results. Just a day before his ISC Board Mathematics Examination, he lost his mother and was disturbed to the brim. Still he appeared in the examination and not only did he get 100/100 in mathematics but also topped the institution and made his mother feel proud spiritually. The irreplaceable loss filled in him that will power which his mother always longed for him. This extremely inspiring incident of my life reminds me about the famous quote by Shakespeare,

“Sweet are the uses of adversity; 

which like a toad, ugly and venomous

wears yet a precious jewel on his head.”

used effectively in his play ‘As You like It’. The quote holds true in real sense.

An Unnamed Relationship (Part-VIII)

A final *GOODBYE*..!!

The end. Yes, this part represents the end of the series “An Unnamed Relationship”. Sahil and Tanya became an integral part of my life too. They were not mere characters but two souls who could never be together in spite of that unnamed relationship which dwelled between the two hearts. Sahil proposed Tanya... She said yes... Tanya proposed Sahil... He said no... Then again Sahil proposed Tanya... and this time she said no... What the hell was happening in their life..?? No one knew; not even them.

It was like those feelings when you want a relationship… but you don’t… but you do… but you don’t… **confusion**... For her, trusting someone was impossible and for him a second chance was all that mattered the most. Things could have simplified but don’t know why they got even more complicated. They were trying for sure but were there personal issues letting them be together..? His ego and her trust issues were overpowering the love which wanted to blossom between the two. According to Tanya she had had enough and no more energy was left in her to get shattered again. She wanted a guarantee but relationships never work on conditions. There are no manufacturing and expiry dates.

Actually the problem with guys is that they say they love you when they don’t and the problem with girls is that they say they don’t love you when they actually do. Their priorities were never clear. They never understood what was more important for them. It’s as simple as that, if a person truly loves another, they make them the first priority in their lives but here it was all very different. Tanya wanted to scream, “Help me forget that eternal kiss, please.” Memories, they kill you from inside. Sahil and Tanya were not meant to be together. Maybe it is not the happy ending but this is the accurate ending for the two people who were only carrying a burden. When personal issues hover over love, love dies an unnatural death. They decided to just let go… it was an unnamed relationship and will always remain the same. I am sure that their place in each other’s heart can never be substituted by anyone. If they don’t say it doesn't mean they don’t feel. Being apart was not wanted by them but it was definitely needed.

* It’s sad when the person who gave you the best memories; ends up as a memory.*

An Unnamed Relationship (Part-VII)

Together..!! Still apart...!!

Soon came Tanya’s birthday. Sahil drove several kilometers to surprise her. Their meeting was definitely not like the usual ones but an entirely different experience and precisely for Tanya it was like a ‘dream-come-true’. That day while they were sitting and discussing some ‘not-so-important’ topic, Sahil suddenly insisted to hold Tanya’s hand. 

“Can I?” asked Sahil placing his hand in front of Tanya indicating her to give him her hand so that he can hold it.

“No, you’ll leave it soon”, replied Tanya implying the hidden meaning.

“Do you trust me, Tanya?” asked he knowing the answer quite well. 

“Yes, I do”, replied she taking a pause of 10 seconds. Sahil looked straight into her eyes and without even a blink said, “I promise to hold your hand forever”.

Without any second thoughts she placed her hand on his wishing never to be apart. She wanted to freeze the moment right there. Their fingers clutched each other tightly. Tanya like always started blushing and her hair strands split over her face. Sahil collected the hair strands and gently feeling Tanya’s face with his fingers placed them behind her ears after a lot of effort. Actually flicks sometimes dance on their own accord and become really stubborn. Once those flicks covered Tanya’s eyes blocking Sahil’s view. Then Sahil commented, “One is not able to simply look at a person even if he wishes to. Hard luck!” The chirpy bird became speechless. She didn’t know how to react but there was still much more left for her to remember throughout her life.

They stood up; started walking and again started talking on some not-so-important topic. This time they stood quite close to each other. Yes, this was also a kissable moment. Just before anything would happen, Tanya turned her face opposite to that of Sahil and moved away. Like every typical bollywood movie where the heroine decides to walk away and the hero holds her hand from the back; pulls her towards himself and hugs her tightly; the same happened here also. Sahil gave her a tight hug; put his one hand on her head and said, “Happy Birthday, Tanya”. Don’t know what was stopping Tanya because she could neither pay a ‘Thank-you’ nor could she hug him back. He even complained but to no avail. When Sahil planned to leave that day, Tanya bade her good-bye.

Tanya all of a sudden said, “Sahil” demanding him to stop.

He stopped, turned around and replied, “Yes” not knowing what Tanya wanted to say.

“Ummm… Take care. Happy journey and drive safe”, stammered Tanya maybe because she wanted to say something else.

Sahil again headed towards the door. Once again Tanya pronounced his name from behind but this time she caught hold of his hand. Nobody said a word because now the eyes were talking. Both of them understood that they needed a kiss to end this meeting. Sahil bent forward at a certain angle maintaining the eye contact and holding Tanya’s hand. While Tanya simply could not resist closing her eyes when Sahil came a bit close to her. Tanya was standing straight and still; allowing Sahil to do whatever he wants. Sahil planted a soft kiss on Tanya’s upper lip giving her the most memorable moment of her life; after all it was her first kiss. (I find your lips so kissable…And your kiss unmissible…Your finger tips so touchable…And your eyes IRRESISTIBLE). Sahil and Tanya were now living an unnamed relationship. They care for each other but how can ego ever overpower love? Sahil has shared his deepest secrets with Tanya and Tanya keeps falling in love everyday with his simple yet meaningful sentences. He once said, “See, even the first letters of our name are not apart. This proves that we’ll be together.” Tanya till today regards it as the best sentence spoken by him. She had given him the right to break her heart again but before it he promised her to emerge out as a better human being one day. They still fight claiming that the other person proposed first. They are opposites but still tied together with some knot of expectations.

“What relationship do we hold?” asked Tanya randomly one day.

“Whatever you want it to be”, came up a casual reply. Tanya knew that it can never be the way she wants it to be. They were still not each other’s after coming this close but undoubtedly they wanted this strange relationship to remain unnamed and continue but not unwanted at any cost.

*Nothing’s gonna change my love for you;

You ought to know by now how much I love you…. 

One thing you can be sure of; 

 I’ll never ask for more than your love….*

An Unnamed Relationship (Part-VI)

One shot... That was it...!!

They were missing each other. Maybe being distant was important for them to be close again. The phone-calls which earlier extended to two hours each day were now reduced to 2 minutes and that too after a gap of 15 days. They became very formal for the next five months and then came the ‘school farewell’. Sahil was not willing to attend it; the reason being the ‘pre-planned thoughts of farewell with his ex’. Memories were hovering his mind and he got really uneasy while Tanya was super-excited about this farewell stuff. Girls are generally like this. Ask them to get ready for a get-together and it just sets everything perfect. Tanya also wanted to look perfect in the sari (yes, sari was the dress code for girls) but above all she wanted to dress up ‘for’ Sahil. She wanted him to notice her and compliment her. In fact she was coming to the farewell because of him. Tanya wanted to spend her last official day in Sahil’s company but Sahil wasn’t ready for it. He always used to say that there was nothing left between him and his ex but Tanya never understood that why his ex was still making some difference to him. After a lot of persuasion and with the help of a common friend, Sahil agreed to attend the grand farewell and this made Tanya more than happy.

Sahil and Tanya reached the venue at approximately same time and Sahil even clicked Tanya’s picture with his brand new camera without her noticing it. Oh! He is an awesome photographer. Anybody can fall in love with his clicks. The farewell turned out not exactly what Tanya wanted it to be. They didn’t converse. Sahil was busy with his ex-girlfriend because he made some promises to her but what about Tanya…? How intolerable was it for her to see the love of her life with someone else on such a beautiful day? She sometimes wanted to go up to Sahil and say, “I need you right now” but never said so because to her it appeared as if she was interfering between two souls who were very close to each other some time ago. When it became almost impossible for her to resist him she went up to him and said, “Sahil, let’s have a photo session.” “Yeah, sure”, replied he. Sahil came close to her; in fact ‘very close’. He bent a little towards Tanya; put his hand on her lower back; held her by the waist and pulled her towards himself. Yes, they were inches apart. That moment demanded a kiss. Tanya was in utter surprise. Sahil’s sudden behavior gave her goose-bumps as well as it made her blush. She had never been so close to anybody. She could feel him and then a perfect picture was clicked making it the ‘best’ among the ‘rest’. Even today they both relish that photo-session and Sahil keeps complementing Tanya for her elegant wear. Tanya in her loneliness often asks herself, “Why that picture is so important to Sahil that even after five months he has made it his Facebook and WhatsApp profile picture?” “Do I mean something to him?” Well! Their days and nights passed observing each other in that epic click. The intensity and the closeness were visible and the features were zoomed again and again for a better view. It was flawless.


To Be Continued...

An Unnamed Relationship (Part-V)

Another Chance, please..???

What annoyed Tanya the most was the fact that Sahil was deceiving even himself. He was betraying his own soul. She could not find what her fault was. Why was she being punished for loving and trusting someone? That was the very first moment when Tanya thought that she was in love with the ‘wrong guy’. Maybe he had his own reasons for doing any such thing but this logic never satisfied Tanya. Soon, when they had a phone-call Tanya got to know about Sahil’s road accident when he was going home after that rude ‘no-you’re-my-nothing’ conversation with her. This filled her heart with guilt and she blamed herself for Sahil’s mental distraction. Tanya kept saying sorry but Sahil was now being sarcastic. He commented that she should not show concern as ‘he was her nothing’. Tanya felt that everything happened because of her but then she cross-questioned herself, “Why should I be sorry to an untrustworthy soul?”

Soon things settled and it was exactly 13 days after the incident when Sahil called Tanya and said, “I’ve to make a confession.”

“Go ahead”, replied Tanya knowing well where this was heading to.

“I was double-dating.”

"I know."

“I am sorry Tanya”, said Sahil with a guilty voice.

“I don’t need your sorry. I knew all this before you told me.” 

“As you wish but it’s just an advice Tanya that don’t ever treat a person like this when he confesses because it takes courage to speak the truth.” 

“This is not a confession Sahil. I’m getting to know things about you from other people which you were supposed to tell me earlier. I was only waiting to see how much time will you take to accept the reality and yes, why are you confessing this to me?”

“Because, I strongly feel that I was doing wrong to you. I was making you suffer because of me.” A single sentence and Tanya was speechless. She could understand that Sahil realized his mistake and this was what the most important part. She felt relaxed.

Emotions were taking a complete U-turn. It started with “I love you’s”; headed towards “No, I don’t love you” and then the final “You are my nothing” but was it really supposed to be like this? Earlier what appeared beautiful was now a burden which both of them were carrying. Tanya wanted to ask, “Can we start it all over again?” but she couldn’t muster up enough courage since a common friend made her realize that Sahil was losing his confidence because of her. Tanya kept on blaming herself for Sahil’s low self-esteem. She decided to just stay away….


To Be Continued...