WAKE UP! IT'S NIGHT...

What was about that night?

There’s a thing about starry skies and thoughtful nights. There are certain nights that demand your complete attention; that demand the time you need to spend with yourself. With an existence of twenty years till now, she encountered many different nights; some were beautiful because they held the happy moments she had spent; few were dreadful nights because they gave her the flashback of the things that turned out in the way they were never supposed to be.

What about those nights which were filled with guilt whether the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ made sense?

What about those nights which were full of anxiety because that twenty year old girl didn’t know what to do next in life?

What about those nights when she met herself?

What about those nights when she thought that no matter how much she may flaunt during the day about how she loves her flaws and imperfections but actually those nights made her insecure at times?

What about those nights when there was a sudden death of smile and all she wanted to do was cry out loud but that feeling lacked tears?

What about those nights when her tears touched the cotton fabric of the pillow cover for no reason?

What about those nights when she was sleepless, thoughtless and into nothingness?

What about those nights when she couldn’t sleep of excitement because it was going to be a big day tomorrow?

What about those nights when she was worried about all the possible ‘what-ifs’?

What about those nights when she tried to deviate her thoughts by watching Netflix and eating chocolates?

What about those nights when she talked the whole night about life at stretch with her friends?

What about those nights when she felt helpless and calling a friend also didn’t help because she couldn’t explain what was wrong?

What about those nights when she doesn’t want to speak but listen?

What about those nights when she doesn’t want to listen but speak?

What about those nights when she found comfort only in her own company and her playlist on repeat?

What about those nights when she longed for some companionship?

What about those nights when it was too scary to step out of the bed to switch off the fan?

What about those nights when she was sitting motionless in a chair on the terrace looking at the stars?

What about those nights when she completed a whole season of a particular TV series in a go?

After all there’s a thing about starry skies and thoughtful nights. These nights may bring out the sadness in you but they compel you to introspect and that’s what makes it beautiful. The over thinking you do on sleepless nights which you usually consider wrong in the long run is just making you come close to yourself. These nights are that time of the twenty-four hours when you wake up your demons to finally calm them down.

WHAT ACTUALLY WAS ABOUT THOSE NIGHTS THAT SHE USED TO WAKE UP JUST BECAUSE IT WAS NIGHT?

“INSIDE YOU”

She looked at him intently all the while when he was sharing his deepest insecurities with her. He went on and on about how much he wanted to be all by himself without any baggage of expectations on his head. He was tired; tired of knowing everything but not knowing himself. He was done with taking those calculated moves at every stage of his life. I guess he wanted to be carefree this time but he was too careful to be careless. He was scared to lose and so scared to even try to keep what is his. He wanted to break free a little just like the old times but he just couldn’t. He was chained; chained with people, their thoughts, their ideologies, their expectations, their hope. The man who loved freedom was so bounded that all the ideas in his mind to live life in his way automatically chalked themselves out. He didn’t want anyone and anything but himself.

His powerful exterior was feeling vulnerable and his soul seemed to be naked in front of her. Things got that bad that it wasn’t even easy to fake it this time. After all, one of the most ambitious men of her life was suddenly aimless, under confident and lost somewhere in his own world where every now and then he gets a reality check. Maybe that’s why he was fond of ‘escapism’. His hobbies included escaping to a dream world where he is the superhero setting things right for everyone. Well, who would ever want to come out from that dream and be realistic?

She never really understood him. Since, the day she met him, she is unfolding a new person every day. She doesn’t really know white charmed him more or black because BOOM! He always had a thing for grey. He was unexpected; a big time mystery. That mystery which she tries to solve but fails miserably every time. She tries new methods but every single time; she finds herself with some new person. Learning from his always accurate kind of deductions, she also deduced one thing and it’s for sure that his knight in shining armor likes to keep his mask on even to his closed ones because he is afraid to open up. He is scared of sharing emotions; dwelling deep because he thinks that it gives other person the power to see through him when he is unguarded and this can reveal his strengths and weaknesses.

When did he become like this? He admits that he was not the same person earlier. The circumstances have changed him drastically. Sitting there and looking at him intently only made her want to bring back the old free version of his new chained man. She desperately wanted him to relive the beauty of his past. She wanted to bring back those who left him because only with them he was the happiest. She knows that he will always counter that his present is better than any phase of his past but his eyes always scream that a part of him is left back there. His smile and blush shout that he wants to stay there fixing everything he did wrong. What made her happy was the fact that if he couldn’t go back; he had included that beautiful portion of his past in his present life. That’s alive. That’s what completes him. Sitting there and looking at him intently, she whispered, “It’s INSIDE YOU”.